Many workplaces operate according to traditional ideas about sexuality and gender. So, if you’re feeling nervous or unsure about coming out, that makes perfect sense.
There’s so much to think about. How will your co-workers react? Will coming out affect your career? Will people start gossiping behind your back? These are valid concerns for anyone. If you’re a non-binary or Two-Spirit individual, you might have to deal with extra challenges, like coworkers not understanding or respecting your pronouns.
With careful planning and help from allies, you can navigate this journey, build deep and authentic relationships, and create a better work experience for yourself and everyone. Here are some tips for what to do.
Find community at work
Building a support network at work is crucial if you plan to come out. Look for allies and other LGBTQ2S+ colleagues who can offer support.
Many organizations have employee resource groups focused on LGBTQ2S+ issues. By joining, you can gain a sense of community and a safe space to discuss your experiences and get advice.
Being part of a group like this at work can also help you advocate for more inclusive policies and practices. Your allies within these groups can play a critical role in educating others and creating an inclusive environment. Remember, you are not alone, and finding a community at work can make a big difference.
Lean on your external community
While having support at work is important, your community outside work can help too. Friends, family, and LGBTQ2S+ organizations can give you the emotional support and advice you need as you come out at work. Your networks can offer a safe place where you can express yourself freely and recharge from the workplace.
Get in touch with local or online LGBTQ2S+ groups and resources. These communities often share experiences and strategies that can help you find your way in your professional life. Knowing that you have a great network outside of work can make you more confident and resilient.
Support your well-being
Many Alberta workplaces offer an Employee and Family Assistance Program (EFAP) as part of their benefits packages. These confidential programs connect employees with mental health professionals who can provide support on a variety of issues.
For LGBTQ2S+ and gender-nonconforming people, making your way in the workplace can come with unique challenges. EFAPs can help you:
- Cope with stress and anxiety—Coming out at work, dealing with microaggressions, or navigating complex social dynamics can all be sources of stress and anxiety.
- Explore gender identity—Some EFAPs may be able to connect trans and gender-nonconforming employees with therapists and programs that specialize in gender identity exploration.
- Manage relationships—Coming out to colleagues can affect personal relationships. Therapists can help you navigate these conversations and build stronger support systems.
If you're unsure whether your workplace offers an EFAP, ask your HR department, or read the employee handbook. You can also find mental health resources through the Alberta Health Services website.
Many organizations in Alberta will explain your rights as a LGBTQ2S+ or gender non-confirming person and direct you toward the service or community you need.
Know your rights
Alberta has strong laws that protect against workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation, and gender identity and expression.
Understanding your legal rights is a critical step in coming out at work. Get familiar with your company's policies on diversity and inclusion, as well as the local and national laws that protect LGBTQ2S+ individuals in your area.
If your workplace does not have clear policies, advocate for them. Having legal knowledge can give you the power to address discrimination or harassment. Knowing your rights ensures that you can take action and helps you feel more secure in your decision to come out.
Before and after coming out at work: A success story
Here’s the story of Casey, a non-binary software engineer at a mid-sized tech company. Before coming out, Casey felt isolated and constantly stressed about hiding their true self. Misgendering was a daily occurrence, and Casey often avoided social interactions to prevent uncomfortable situations.
Feeling the weight of this burden, Casey decided to take the brave step of coming out. They began by confiding in a colleague they trusted who was known for their advocacy with the company’s LGBTQ2S+ employee resource group. With the colleague’s support, Casey approached the company’s HR department to discuss their needs and ensure that the company’s policies supported non-binary employees.
The HR department was receptive. They immediately took steps to provide training on gender identity and inclusion for all employees. They also updated internal systems to include options beyond the male/female binary and made sure the company’s offices all had gender-neutral restrooms. The company’s leaders sent out a message reaffirming their commitment to fostering a diverse and inclusive workplace.
After coming out, Casey experienced a profound change. They no longer had to hide their true identity and felt more authentic and comfortable at work. Colleagues made efforts to use the correct pronouns, and Casey found a supportive community within the company’s employee resource group. Their productivity and job satisfaction increased, and they even took on a leadership role within the resource group to help others facing similar challenges.
Casey’s story highlights the positive impact that coming out can have on someone’s professional and personal life. It also shows us the importance of supportive colleagues, progressive HR policies, and a commitment to diversity and inclusion from the top levels of an organization.
Coming out as LGBTQ2S+ at work can be challenging and empowering. By finding community at work, leaning on external support networks, and knowing your rights, you can navigate this journey with confidence. Every step you take toward being your true self not only enriches your own life, but also paves the way for a more inclusive and understanding workplace for others.