Microaffirmations, also known as micro-validations or micro-gestures, are tiny acts of caring and inclusion that can have a huge impact on people’s happiness and self-esteem.
In a work culture that focuses on efficiency, productivity, and achievement, we often overlook each other’s need to feel included and valued. Small, positive actions and messages can make a big difference in how we all feel about ourselves.
An antidote to microaggressions
Making an effort to understand and affirm the experiences of others, especially those which are different from our own, is an act of kindness that benefits everyone.
The advantages are professional as well as personal. Research suggests that encouraging microaffirmations in the workplace has significant positive effects in terms of performance, change management, and diversity and inclusion.
Unlike microaggressions, which are usually rooted in unconscious bias, offering microaffirmations is a conscious and intentional practice that we can all do. And just as the harmful effects of microaggressions build up over time, the positive results of microaffirmations add up to make a real difference in how people think and feel.
Let’s look at some ways you can bring microaffirmations into your everyday interactions.
Practise active listening
Communication is a two-way street. Often, the best way to tell people that they matter is to show that you care about what they have to say:
- When someone is speaking, let them have the stage. Listen without interrupting until they have expressed everything they want to say.
- Listen to understand. Ask open-ended questions to clarify, and reflect back what they are saying in your own words to make sure you have understood correctly.
- Use body language to show that you are paying attention. Sit up straight, make eye contact, and nod when appropriate. This is important both in person and in video meetings.
In a situation of conflict or high emotion, respectful and healthy communication is especially important.
Validate the experience of others
Rather than making assumptions about people based on categories such as age or gender, get to know them as individuals. Ask respectful questions and take a genuine interest in their lives.
Once you know a bit about someone’s unique personality, values, and preferences, you’re in a better position to apply the platinum rule: Treat others the way you would want to be treated if you were them. Here are a few examples of how acting on that rule might look day to day:
- Pay attention to the language that people use about themselves—like their pronouns or how they pronounce their name—and use the same language when you speak with or about them.
- Validate people’s experiences and emotional reactions. If someone feels angry or hurt because of a comment or situation at work, don’t dismiss them as overreacting or being too sensitive. Try to see their point of view. This applies to the good things in life too. If they’re happy or excited about something, be happy for them.
- Acknowledge religious or cultural holidays and life milestones that you know are meaningful to someone. Any time you have an impulse to send good wishes, follow your heart and follow through.
- If you’re ordering food for a team lunch, think about people’s dietary needs and preferences. Make sure there is something available for everyone.
Affirm people’s value
Go beyond taking cues on how people see themselves, and boost their self-esteem by reflecting their value back to them through your eyes. You can do this by:
- Offering sincere compliments. If you appreciate something someone has said or done, say so.
- Recognizing their achievements and offering constructive feedback. If you’re a supervisor, providing kudos and advice during informal conversations may feel more genuine to both of you than formal performance appraisals—and be more effective.
- Giving credit where credit is due and drawing others’ attention to a person’s skills and expertise.
- Inviting opinions, especially from colleagues who tend to be quiet or shy about offering them, and then paying attention to what they have to say.
Be authentic
One of the primary rules of good communication—being authentic—applies to microaffirmations too. In fact, insincerity can cross the line into a form of microaggression.
Making the effort to seek out and identify what you sincerely value in others is the best kind of win-win. You’re likely to discover that expressing your gratitude and appreciation proves to be every bit as good for your own well-being as it is for theirs.